It’s not you. It’s me.

It’s not you. It’s me.

Ever dated?

You’ve probably been on one side or the other of INYIM.

But I’m not just talking about romantic relationships.

INYIM extends to business partners, clients, vendors, and employees.

It’s intended to ease the other’s feelings when things go awry.

Society tells us to take responsibility.

But sometimes, that leads to self-doubt.

We gaslight ourselves.

When often, it’s the other’s fault.

That should stop.

We need to be comfortable with not having to shoulder the blame and empowered to make the appropriate changes.

Several months ago, I set a goal to reach a 4.0 skill level in pickleball.

I enlisted a coach.

Watched YouTube videos.

And played recreational open play regularly.

Eager to test my skills, I entered a tournament.

I felt confident and ready to compete at 4.0.

I registered for two events: men’s doubles and mixed doubles.

Men’s doubles was with a friend below my skill level.

I figured I could compensate for the difference.

In mixed doubles, I couldn’t find a partner.

So the tournament organizers paired me with a 4.0 woman’s player who was also partnerless.

The results were night and day.

In men’s doubles with my friend, we finished near the bottom.

It was discouraging.

I felt I was better than the competition.

Yet the losses made me question whether I was as good as I thought.

But later, in mixed doubles, the other partnerless player and I excelled — just missing the bronze medal.

Redemption!

What was the difference?

The partner (in fairness to my friend, he tried his best).

Is this wrong of me to say?

I don’t think so.

For months, I focused solely on improving my game.

But I overlooked a critical component of success.

You can only be a good doubles player with a good doubles partner.

Life and business are the same.

Happiness and success aren’t only on us.

We’re all connected.

The wrong partner, client, vendor, or team member can be detrimental.

Look for those where 1+1=3.

Another pickleball tournament is approaching.

My main objective?

Find the right partner.

Are you feeling stuck in your personal or professional life?

Take a look at those surrounding you.

Maybe it’s not you, but them.